Tony's Nightmare
by PoeticJustice84
Summary: Tony has an unexpected visitor and Gibbs has to fix the problem
1. Chapter 1

**Tony's Nightmare**

Gibbs walked into the bullpen and stopped dead in his tracks. What he saw broke his heart yet again. His Senior Field Agent was asleep with his head on his desk again. His clothes were different from what he wore yesterday, so apparently he had actually gone home at some point. The problem was that he was back this early. The whimpering drew Gibbs attention. Tony was caught in a nightmare. Placing his coffee on the boys desk, Gibbs gently ran his fingers through Tony's hair, hoping to wake him without frightening him.

"Tony, come on kiddo, wake up for me."

'M awake."

Gibbs smirked as Tony looked around, obviously confused. The kid had purple bags under his eyes, telling Gibbs he had not really slept in days. The paler of his skin said he wasn't eating right and his slow reaction times showed just how exhausted he was.

"Tony, what's wrong?"

"I'm fine. Sorry I fell asleep. Won't happen again."

With that Tony DiNozzo made his way to the men's room to freshen up. No one could see him like this. He had a reputation to uphold, after all.

Jethro Gibbs slapped the button and watched as the doors closed in front of him. He needed to talk to Ducky… right fucking now. Tony sometimes talked to the old M.E. when he was feeling particularly vulnerable, maybe he knew something about why Tony wasn't sleeping or going home.

"Jethro, what brings you down to my sanctuary?"

"Tony."

"What about young Anthony?"

"Something's wrong, Duck."

"You noticed it also it seems."

"Guess so. So what's wrong with him?"

"I assure you, I have no idea. Anthony tries to keep the nastier parts of his life hidden, I doubt anyone truly knows the lad. But you might try Abigail. Those two have become inseparable as of late."

"Thanks, Duck."

Abby had just taken the first slurp of morning Caf-Pow when the man she considered a second father waltzed into her lab demanding to know what was wrong with his Senior Field Agent.

"Take a chill pill, Bossman. We're close, like brother and sister close, or best friend close, or…"

"Abby!"

"Sorry. But I don't know what's bothering him. He said something about an old acquaintance dropping by the other day. He didn't sound thrilled about it either."

Gibbs kissed the Goth and muttered his thanks. He had to find out why his agent, the young man he considered a son, was afraid to stay home, and why, if something was wrong, the kid hadn't come to him for help.

Gibbs reentered the bullpen and found Tony going through cold case files. He thanked whatever higher power there was out there that they hadn't caught a case. With McGee and Kate both off with the flu, it was all Gibbs and Tony could do to hold the fort down. Tony didn't seem to notice that he was working himself into exhaustion, but everyone who saw him did. Gibbs had to hand it to the kid, he definitely acted like Tony. The boy could have been an award winning actor, but Gibbs saw through the act. He saw the fear and anger. He saw the insecurity lurking deep within the walls of Tony the Humorous. His moss green eyes always gave him away.

"DiNozzo!"

"Yeah, Boss?"

Gibbs watched as Tony immediately jumped up and made his way over the desk. Tony truly was amazing. He could argue until his tongue fell out, then turn right around and obey any order. Trust was the key to that. Gibbs had worked hard in the two years Tony had worked for him to gain the kid's trust. Eventually he had succeeded. Tony's inability to trust was the first clue that maybe his life wasn't peachy keen like he wanted everyone to believe.

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Come running like that."

"Um. You told me to."

"Go sit down _Forrest."_

"We don't have a case?"

"Nope."

As Tony made his way back to his desk, Gibbs noticed the pain lines around his eyes and mouth. This was too much. He had to do something. He couldn't let the kid keep suffering like this.


	2. Chapter 2

**Tony's Nightmare: Chap. 2**

Gibbs watched the clock on the far wall strike five o'clock and quickly rose to his feet. He had an agent to find. Tony had gone down to Abby's lab just over an hour ago, Gibbs hoped he was sleeping, he desperately needed it. If anyone could talk him into doing something it was Abby. He might not reveal his inner secrets to her, but he gained some comfort just being around her. Hell, a blind man could see that!

The elevator was cooperating this evening, for once. Maybe it knew just how concerned Gibbs was about Tony, or maybe fate was finally giving the older man an opportunity to worm his way into Tony's life the way the younger man had inched his way into Gibbs heart. The doors swooshed open and Gibbs walked into the eerily silent, unusually empty lab.

"Abbs!"

"Shh! He's asleep!"

"Sorry."

Gibbs then saw the sleeping figure of his agent on the futon. Abby had covered him with the quilt her grandmother gave her. She kept it in the lab for just such an occasion. It was usually reserved for Tony.

"How is he, Abbs?"

"He's not good, Gibbs. He's hurting. Physically and emotionally. You have to do something. Soon."

"What makes you think he'll actually listen to me?"

"Giibbs! How can you not see how he feels about you? You're just as bad as he is. You lost your family and Tony never really had one. You guys are perfect for each other."

The doors swooshed again and Ducky walked in, carrying Tony's bag. After handing the bag to Jethro, he quietly sat beside his young friend and felt his forehead. Sending his thanks upward, Ducky turned toward Jethro and fixed him with a glare.

"What the hell did I do?"

"Not a thing. Yet. I expect your taking the boy to your place tonight?"

"That's the plan"

The huff told Ducky that his old friend really wasn't as annoyed as he let on. More like worried. When Jethro was worried, something was very wrong.

"Jethro, just don't push him. Whatever has him in such a state has to be painful. Try to listen and **DO NOT** tell him to tough it out. I suspect he's been forced to do more of that than any of us realize. Just be a father to the boy. I doubt he had much of one growing up. Have a nice night, Anthony."

With that the old man was gone, leaving a stunned Abby and an overprotective Jethro Gibbs in his wake. Gibbs crossed to Tony and knelt down.

"Tony. Come on. I'll take you home."

"What?"

"I know you didn't drive this morning, I didn't see your car, so come on. Up you go."

Tony followed his boss up to the garage and into the Charger without a second thought. Gibbs was touched by the amount of trust Tony had in him. He was also frightened. What if he somehow let the kid down?

"You've never hurt me."

"What? You're a mind reader now?"

"No. You just get that look when Abbs is in trouble."

The drive to Tony's apartment was silent and ever so strange. A quiet Tony was deathly wrong. The young man chattered all the time. Gibbs was willing to bet the kid even talked in his sleep. The halt in motion woke Tony from his light slumber. After gathering his bearings and stepping out of the car, Tony turned to grab his bag. It was then he noticed Gibbs standing a few feet from him.

"What are you doing?"

"Something has you scared shitless of your own apartment. I want to know what or whom it is."

"No! You don't have to go up. I'm fine. Really!"

"Tony, something happened in the last few days that has you terrified. I want to know what that is!"

Tony finally gave in. Fighting with Gibbs never ended well. Besides, maybe just this once, he could let someone care about him, and take care of him. No. He couldn't. He'd been raised to fend for himself and that's exactly what he did. He was good at it. What he couldn't do was let someone care for him. He'd never been comfortable with that. Dominic DiNozzo had seen to that when he started beating his son and leaving him to clean up the mess.

"Fine."

Gibbs got the shock of his life when he entered Tony's apartment. A big guy with white hair grabbed his agent and shoved him against the wall, screaming profanities at him. Gibbs' paternal instinct kicked in the second the bastard slapped Tony. It was all a blur after that until the local cops showed up. Dominic DiNozzo was arrested and taken into custody. Gibbs took Tony and a few of his things to his place. The kid was safe there.


	3. Chapter 3

_First off, thanks to everyone who added my story to their favorites or alerts. And thanks for the reviews. __**pea nutmeg**__ thanks so much for your kind words. They mean more than you will ever know. And now; on with the story. _

**Tony's Nightmare: Chap.3**

Gibbs stood in the doorway of the guest bedroom, staring at his slumbering charge. Tony's night had been anything but pleasant, yet here he was, sleeping the sleep of the dead. Gibbs hoped Tony slept so deeply because he felt safe here, not just because he was exhausted. In his sleep, Tony seemed so innocent and childlike. Gibbs, however, knew better. Anthony Dominic DiNozzo had lived one hell of a life, complete with losing his mother far too young and being beaten within inches of his life by his controlling, manipulative father. Tony had seen and experienced enough violence to last several life times at the hands of his father, yet he had never experienced love or affection. Now Gibbs finally understood why his young agent seemed so pure and childlike, he was. Most children know beyond a shadow of a doubt that their parents love and want them, Tony did not. He knew he got in the way, he knew he was not the son his father wanted, he knew he was a disappointment, but he had no clue what a wonderful person he was because no one had ever told him.

"Well, kid, that's about to change."

Tony woke to the scent of eggs and toast. Glancing around, the events of the previous night came back to him. He groaned and slammed the pillow back over his head. Gibbs was going to kill him. At the very least he would be extremely pissed off. Like fire Tony pissed. Especially since he'd had to haul Tony back to his place for the night. This was not good.

"Way to go, Dumbass, you've managed to let your boss see just how pathetic you are"

Tired of delaying the inevitable, Tony got up stretched, made the bed and jumped in the shower. At least he could face the firing squad clean and fully awake.

Gibbs heard the water cut off just as he plated up the bacon. He hoped Tony wouldn't stonewall him when he tried to talk to him, there was too much at stake for that. Placing the plates on the table, he grabbed another coffee mug and filled it with that vanilla crap Tony called coffee and sat it beside a plate. The kid would no doubt hate him for treating him like a child, but he simply could not stop himself. _Someone_ needed to be there to take care of the stubborn kid, and he was as good as anyone.

"Wow! You even know what kind of coffee I drink. Now I think you're the mind reader."

"If I were a mind reader we wouldn't be in this situation right now. I would know what you were thinking before anything happened. Tony why didn't you tell me something was wrong? I knew you and your father didn't exactly see eye to eye, but I never thought he was this brutal!"

"The DiNozzo family does not air our dirty laundry to just anyone. I learned at a young age that saying something wouldn't do any good. My father always had ways of making things and people disappear. I didn't want something to happen to you."

Tony looked shocked by his confession, but Gibbs just smiled that soft paternal smile of his and refilled his coffee.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that."

Gibbs sat back in his chair and pinned Tony with the fatherly, we have to talk glare, but he didn't seem angry.

"There are some things I need to tell you. Things I should've said a long time ago. I just didn't know how. Now I really don't think I have a choice."

"I'm not fired?"

"What? Why would you be?"

"Last night wasn't exactly my shining moment."

"Last night I realized just how much I care about you. When that animal had you pinned up against the wall and hit you, I lost it. I saw red. I'm used to being in control, Tony. The only time I get that enraged is when someone threatens my family."

"But you didn't have family at my place last night?"

Gibbs rolled his eyes and resisted the urge to smack his Senior agent in the back of the head. While it proved very effective at bring Tony out of la-la land, he didn't think it would be welcomed so soon after last night.

"Tony, I know you're a fairly smart guy, you always try to hide that from people, but I know the truth, so how is it you can be so dense now?"

"I'm still not following, Boss."

"Tony, you're like a son to me."

Tony didn't hear anything else after that. His mind was spinning. No one had ever wanted him, but somehow, Gibbs did. He didn't understand. Why would anyone want him? He was a screw up, he wasn't someone Gibbs could be proud of, so why was his boss still talking and what the hell was he saying?

"You lost me."

"Where?"

"The first sentence."

Tony looked so lost and bewildered Gibbs almost hugged him, until he remembered Tony's no touching policy. The kid had issues, and Gibbs was determined to help him through every single one of them.

"I love you, kiddo."

Gibbs expected shock or even blank staring, but not the tears Tony wouldn't let fall. What the hell? Had no one ever told this kid they loved him?

"No one's ever said that before."

Before he knew what had happened, Gibbs had him in a strong, warm embrace. His no touching rule went out the window because he had never felt so safe and wanted before. The tears didn't want to stop, though.

"Tony it's ok. Just let it out. I'm not going anywhere. I've got you."

The mini breakdown lasted all of ten minutes. Gibbs had to change shirts, Tony's tears soaked his, but he didn't mind. At least the boy seemed somewhat more relaxed now. Sitting on the couch with Tony's sleeping form stretched out beside him felt good. Tony's head in his lap was amazing. No one had fallen asleep like that since Kelly. Not even Abby, yet here Tony was, curled up like a cat drowsing, feeling completely safe.

Tony's head moved and turned toward Gibbs. He whimpered and Gibbs immediately went into _Dad_ mode.

"Shh. Tony, it's just a dream. You're safe."

With that Tony relaxed and fell into a deep slumber. Instead of dreaming of his father beating him, he dreamt of Gibbs solid form protecting him. Somewhere in the background a phone rang, but he didn't care. He was right where he wanted to be.


	4. Chapter 4

**The phone call set Gibbs on edge. Dominic DiNozzo liked revenge, and Gibbs had no doubts that the old bastard would try to seek vengeance against him and Tony or maybe just Tony. Either way, the slime ball was not going to get the chance to get to Tony again. He didn't want to wake the kid, but he didn't have a choice. He needed to get Tony somewhere safe. Ducky, one of his oldest friends, had offered up his home as a safe house of sorts. It had great security and Ducky adored Tony, so there should be no problems.**

"**Tony"**

'**M up."**

"**I'm glad, because we need to get to Ducky's."**

**Tony jumped up as if he had been shot. He wasn't expecting to hear that in the middle of the night.**

"**Why? What happened?"**

"**Tony please sit down."**

**Tony sat beside his mentor and tried to calm the racing thoughts in his head. When he looked at his surrogate father, he saw something he never thought possible. Gibbs was scared.**

"**Tony, I need you to know that no matter what happens I will never let anything happen to you."**

"**Gibbs?"**

"**Your father just escaped custody. Since Ducky's mother is a bit paranoid he has really wonderful security."**

"**And you want me to stay with him until you catch Dominic?"**

"**Yes."**

"**O.K."**

"**That's it? You're not going to argue with me?"**

"**No. You just want me safe."**

**Two hours later, Tony was sitting at Ducky's kitchen table drinking jasmine tea, listening to yet another of the old man's stories. He really didn't mind, though. Ducky had lived quite a life, Tony thought he might just learn something if he listened enough. Besides, Ducky's calm in the face of danger demeanor soothed his troubled soul. **

"**Ducky?"**

"**Hm?" **

"**Does Gibbs really want me?"**

"**Oh, my goodness! Yes! You've no idea how many times he's worried himself sick over you, dear boy. Now that he's finally admitted those feelings, and with your father's nonsense, it may very well get worse. You'll just have to get used to having someone hover. Jethro can be quite the papa bear when one of his cubs is threatened."**

**Tony thought about that for a long while, before retiring to bed. Somehow hearing Ducky talk about how much Gibbs cared for him made it actually sink into his thick head. Now he just had to find a way to convince himself that Gibbs wouldn't take that love and affection away if he fucked up. **

**Gibbs sat in the kitchen, in the dark and waited for Dominic to come through the front door. The SIG in his hand was one of many firearms he had hidden around the house. The two NCIS teams inside the house were some of the best. He didn't trust anyone else with Tony's wellbeing. **

**Dominic slipped into the house seemingly unnoticed. He spotted the stairs and made his way to them. He never saw the shadowed figure sitting in the darkened kitchen. He never felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up as the two teams surrounded him.**

"**Have a seat."**

**Dominic startled at the hatred-filled voice, instantly knowing he'd been set up. The way he saw it, he had two choices. He could either give up or try to fight his way out. He did the smart thing, tossed his gun on the stairs, and raised his hands in the air. He would live to fight another day.**

"**You know, as much as I'd like to tear you limb from limb right now, there is something more important I have to do at the moment. **_**My**_** son is waiting to find out how all this went down. Oh, I almost forgot. To those guys in prison, child abuse is probably the worse crime anyone can commit, and they know exactly what you did to Tony, so have fun being someone's big bitch. I'll see you in hell you sonofabitch."**

**Gibbs drove to Ducky's house in record time. He had to see that Tony was safe for himself. Maybe he could tell the boy that he could breathe now. God knew he deserved the break. **

**Ducky saw the car headlights as Jethro turned into the drive. The phone call just moments ago had lightened his heart. His concern for the young man upstairs had finally waned, leaving him feeling giddy and tired at the same time. Now maybe Jethro could give the boy the attention he so desperately needed.**

"**Duck?"**

"**In the kitchen."**

"**How is he?"**

"**He still has questions and doubts, but nothing a lot of love and affection won't cure. I'm sure you can help with that. He's been sleeping for almost an hour. Don't wake him, Jethro. He needs the rest. Stay the night, or at least what's left of it."**

"**I think I will. I'm just going to check on him."**

**Sitting on the side of the bed, Jethro gazed at the kid sleeping in it. He was beautiful, and terribly hurt. **

"**We got him, Tony. He can't hurt you now."**

"**What happens now?"**

"**Did I wake you?"**

"**Yeah, but I don't mind. So answer my question."**

"**Well, now he goes to trial. You know how it works."**

"**What happens with us?"**

"**Well, you're going to tell me about this childhood that has you so messed up sometimes and I am going to do everything in my power to make you see just how much you mean to me. I want you to feel safe with me."**

"**I do."**

**Gibbs smiled and ran his fingers through Tony's hair. The gesture seemed to relax the kid more than anything else did.**

"**Go back to sleep. You and I are going to talk about all of this in the morning. **


	5. Chapter 5

After having breakfast with Ducky and his ever suspicious mother, Gibbs drove them back to his place. The evidence had been collected, the house was once again a home. Glancing at Tony, Jethro thought he saw relief as he turned into the drive.

"What are you thinking, Tony?"

"I'm scared. What if I tell you something you don't want to hear?"

"Nothing could make me love you any less. But if you don't want to talk to me you could always see a therapist. I actually think you should, whether you talk to me or not. It might help you sort things in your head."

"No! I'll talk to you but only you."

The break in Tony's voice surprised him. So far the kid had been holding it together. Maybe now he felt safe enough to just let go.

"O.K. No therapist. Just me."

"I'm sorry. My father was friends with a therapist when I was a kid. He…um did things to me. I'm sorry."

Tony covered his face with his hands and took a shuttering breath, trying for all he was worth to regain some composure. Gibbs didn't have to guess what the "things" Tony alluded to were, and the thought made his stomach churn. The poor kid had been beaten by his father and molested by the bastard's friend, yet here he was, still fighting to keep his sanity.

"Tony, don't apologize for what those monsters did to you. Despite their attempts otherwise, you became an amazing man. A man I greatly admire. You've been through hell all your life, and you're still fighting. You never give up. God, Tony, I'm so damn proud of you sometimes it's all I can do to keep it to myself. That's when I go see Ducky. Believe it or not, we actually like boasting about your accomplishments."

Tony looked at Gibbs with tear filled eyes trying to decide if he could believe what the older man was saying. No one was proud of him. He fucked up way too much for that. Then again, Gibbs didn't say things he didn't mean.

"I want to believe you. If I do what happens when you don't want me anymore? What happens when I mess up so bad you can't stand to even look at me anymore?"

Gibbs felt his heart shatter at the vulnerability in Tony's voice. The kid had never been on anyone's priority list. He'd never had anyone in his young life that gave a damn. This was new territory for him. He was still unsure of his place in Gibbs life. That had to change; in a hurry.

"When Kelly was still small, maybe three, she wrote all over the walls in her bedroom. The walls I'd just painted. Shannon made her sit in her room until I got home, then tell me what she'd done. She thought I wouldn't want her anymore either. She was so wrong, Tony. And so are you. Love doesn't work that way. "

Tony nodded and walked into the house. This was too much. It was too good to be true, he wasn't lovable, Dominic had beaten that into him too many times to count. So why was Gibbs being so nice. Gibbs was _never_ nice. Gibbs attitude was causing Tony great concern.

"Oh, God! What if he's sick?"

"I'm not!"

Tony started at the angry tone, but one look into Gibbs blue eyes and Tony knew he wasn't really angry. Exasperated, maybe, but not angry.

"What do I have to do to make you see that I care?"

"I don't know. I'm sorry."

With that Tony made his way up to the guest room. Gibbs just watched him go. The morning had not gone like he'd planned. Tony had started pushing him away. He supposed it was a natural reaction for someone in Tony's situation, someone who always had to be on the defensive. Gibbs wasn't giving up though. He was going to show Tony that he _did_ care even if it took a hundred years. Tony deserved that.

_**Thanks for all the wonderful reviews and to everyone who put my story in their alerts or favorites. I never thought so many people would like my story. I have more on the way, just please bare with me. I am in college and I have a hectic schedule for the next 2 weeks or so. I promise I'll post more on this story and try to get started on another one as soon as time permits me to do so. My self confidence has gone through the roof with the reaction to this story. It's my first and I just want to thank everyone again. You guys are so amazing. The success of this story is just mind-boggling. **_


	6. Chapter 6

For Tony, the rest of the day passed ever so slowly. Gibbs tried to get him to talk about everything from his past to what his goals were for the future four times. He wanted to talk to someone about how he felt, but something prevented him from doing so. If he could only figure out what he'd be downstairs talking to Gibbs, soaking up the paternal love and attention the old man constantly offered. Instead he was contemplating going out. A club maybe. Or that party those two twins invited him to. Yeah, that sounded like an idea.

Gibbs heard the front door slam and thought about following the young man. His concern deepened as time passed. The note on the table said he'd be back by one a.m. and Gibbs was going to hold him to that. Until the phone rang just after midnight.

"Gibbs."

The line was silent except for the nervous breathing.

"Tony? What's the matter? Where are you? Are you hurt?"

"Gibbs I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Tony, I need you to calm down and tell me where you are."

"I'm at the corner of eight and Elm. There was this party and…"

"I'm on my way."

"Gibbs the local police are here. They might arrest me."

The fear in the kid's voice almost did him in. At that moment, Gibbs wanted to strangle Dominic DiNozzo for letting his only son believe that he could count on no one in this world.

"Tony! I'm. On. The. Way."

"Thank You. I really am sorry."

Driving to the party, Gibbs tried to figure out why Tony would do something so reckless. He could be arrested for crying out loud!. He could lose his job over this shit. The more he thought about it the angrier he got. Tony knew better than to do something so career ending.

Tony saw Gibbs car pull into the drive from the curb he was perched on top of. The cop he was talking to reminded him of Gibbs. Thinking about Gibbs made his stomach hurt. He'd known, if only for a few days, what it felt like to be important to someone, but now that was all gone. Gibbs would surely wash his hands of him now.

The kid sitting on the curb looked even more distraught than the kid Gibbs had seen in the bullpen just days before if that were even possible. He wondered what could be going through the boys head. He looked like a kicked puppy. The man sitting beside him was an old friend. Gibbs felt sure he cold smooth things over with him without him having to write a report. John McKean was a marine he served with in the Desert Storm, they still had lunch a few times a month. The man was a good friend to have in a bind and right now, Tony was in a bind."John! If you wanted to see me, you could've just called. We didn't need all the drama."

"Hey, Jethro, believe me I don't like meeting under these circumstances, but the kid here tells me he's one of yours. I ran the name, no criminal record. He's clean so I had him call you. He's over the limit."

"How much did you drink?"

"Um. A lot."

Gibbs suppressed a grin as he heard his agent slur the words. Tony would really be feeling this in the morning.

"What happened?"

"Well…we sorta had a few too many to drink and then we had a few more, then stuff got outahand. Some neighbors called the cops and here weee are."

"John, what are the charges?"

"Since your boy here didn't really participate in any of the vandalism I'm not going charge him with anything. Just take him home, get him settled."

Gibbs knelt down in front of his agent and stared into his pain filled green eyes. Those were no longer the eyes of his agent, they were the eyes of his son. His son! Who was absolutely perfect despite his being in tremendous trouble at the moment. Gibbs placed his hand on the back of his son's head and sighed.

"What am I going to do with you kiddo?"

"Transfer me?"

"You actually think I could send you away?"

"The thought did cross my mind."

"Tony, son, you break my heart."

"I'm sorry."

"Baby don't apologize."

"I know it's a sign of weakness."

"No. But you've done nothing wrong."

"Except get extremely drunk and almost arrested?""Well there's that."

Gibbs saw Tony smile for the first time in days. It brought tears to his eyes. Tony had a warm, inviting smile, it was a shame he'd kept it hidden lately.

The next morning Gibbs called Jenny and requested some vacation time for him and Tony. The boy had some issues to work through and Gibbs wanted to be there for all of them. He got his chance when in mid thought he heard a small whimper. Tony was having a nightmare again.

"No Father! Please! It was an accident. I'm sorry."

"Tony, son, wake up."

"No don't!"

Tony sat straight up in bed, tears falling from his eyes. His breathing was ragged, his pulse rapid, and his pupils were huge. His entire body was trembling and a cold sweat had broken out on his chest.

"Tony, please talk to me."

Tony launched himself at Gibbs. He hadn't had a dream that bad in a while and to be honest, it scared him.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Please don't send me away. I'll never do anything bad again."

Gibbs tucked Tony's head under his chin and pulled him closer. He could feel the kid violently trembling against his chest. The tears were coming faster and harder now.

"Baby I'll never send you away. I love you so much, Tony. I want you right here with me. Where I know you're safe."

"You're not mad about last night."

"Not even close. See, I know you. And I know that you would never do that unless you really wanted to get my attention. Well, kiddo, that definitely did it. But guess what? You don't have to get into trouble to get me to notice you. I'm not like him, Tony. I'm here and I'm listening."

Tony buried his head in Gibbs chest and cried harder. Gibbs ran his fingers through baby soft brown hair until the shaking and sobbing subsided.

"Are you alright?"

"No. Please don't let go. I know it's infantile but please stay."

"Baby I'm not going anywhere."

"He used to beat me with a razor strap if I didn't meet his standards. And a belt. And a shoe, and a hairbrush, and a cane, and anything else he could find. As long as he didn't have to actually touch me, he didn't care what he hit me with. He just wanted it to hurt. And it did. It hurt so much. I hated it! What did I do so wrong? Why did he hate me so much? I tried to be what he wanted, I really did. I hated that fucking therapist. Why did he do that to me? Ten years."

The tortured, broken sentences tore Gibbs heart out. He could do nothing except wrap his arms tighter around his son and held on until the worst passed. The tears didn't stop until the phone rang two hours later. Still Gibbs didn't let go. The machine could do it's job once in a while.

"Gibbs, you know that therapist you were talking about? Maybe that was a good idea."

Gibbs kissed the top of Tony's head and held him tighter. He wouldn't force the issue, but he did intend to get the boy into some sort of recovery program in the near future.

"I'll even go with you if you want."

"Good. I don't think I can do this alone."

"Now you don't have to."


	7. Chapter 7

_**Thanks for the wonderful reviews. Sorry I haven't responded to any of them, but I have been extremely busy. And for all the people who added my story to their alerts or favorites, thank you so much. Now on to the disclaimer that I have forgotten until now.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS or the characters. Please do not sue me. You will get nothing but student loan payments, car payments, and utility bills. You know what? On second thought, take all of them! **_

Two days after his breakdown Tony managed to talk Gibbs into letting him go back to his apartment. He wasn't tired of being doted upon, but he thought he needed so space. This was all too overwhelming to take in in such a short amount of time. He needed some time to get his head on strait. He'd been back at his place for a little more than two hours and he already missed Gibbs. Well, he would just have to get over that. He had been alone his whole life, he could do it now.

Gibbs paced the basement occasionally glaring at the boat. He was worried about Tony. The kid had insisted on spending some time by himself, but Gibbs wasn't sure how that was going to work out. He certainly understood the need for alone time, but Tony was still trying to come to terms with so many things, he didn't need to be by himself yet.

By mid-night, Tony had consumed a bottle of Tequila, six beers, four Vodka shots, and half a bottle of really expensive bourbon. In his depression, he failed to see how anyone could give a damn about him. Surly after Gibbs found out he drank himself stupid every time he got a little down the man would cut all ties with him. His father had never wanted him around, why would Gibbs? He wasn't smart like McGee or Kate. He was just Tony. He would never be anyone's pride and joy. Why couldn't he be better? What about him made him a disappointment? What made his father hate him so much? This was becoming too much. He needed someone to tell him he was wrong, that he was worth someone's time. He needed Gibbs.

Gibbs saw the head lights as he poured his fourth cup of coffee. It was well past one a.m. but he found he couldn't sleep. Thoughts of Tony hurting or suffering kept plaguing him, keeping him awake. The doorbell chiming didn't surprise him. Tony never felt comfortable just walking in, his strict upbringing saw to that.

The sight that greeted him when he opened the door was not all that shocking. Tony couldn't deal with his emotions, so he either ignored them or tried to drown them. Sometimes both.

"Hey, bossss! How goes it? I was thinking…"

"That's never a good thing."

"You're funny Gibbs. You make jokes. You know, I never heard my father make a joke. He was always too busy. Jokes were for uneducated people. Or so he said."

"Am I anything like him?"

Tony wiped his eyes and shook his head no. Gibbs was so far removed from what his father was, that Tony had no clue how to behave around him. Gibbs didn't demand obedience or loyalty, he inspired it. He didn't use intense physical pain or crippling guilt to get what he wanted. No. Gibbs was the only father figure he had that ever cared about him.

Gibbs pulled his son to him and held him. He had never seen Tony this drunk and depressed. This had to stop. The drinking was going to get him into serious trouble. Gibbs lead Tony into the den and sat him on the couch. The boy was swimming in guilt and liquor. One fueling the other.

"I'm sorry Gibbs. I'm sorry. I fucked up!"

Gibbs had the rest of the night to think about how to handle Tony. In the end he finally understood what he needed to do. He had to help Tony get over his guilt. Only then could he begin to deal with the abuse of his childhood.

Tony woke just after three Monday afternoon. His head was splitting and his mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton. His stomach churned as he turned over. Then it all came rushing back. He's embarrassed himself in front of Gibbs yet again. God, Gibbs was going to kill him.

"Sleep well?"

"No! How did I get here?"

"You drove. You could hardly stand up, yet you drove from your apartment to my house. I'm not going to let this slide, Tony. You could've been killed or killed someone else!"

"I'm sorry."

Tony shrank back away from Gibbs. The raised voice reminded him of his father. He hoped Gibbs wouldn't get violent.

"Damnit! Tony, what the hell were you thinking?"

"I wasn't."

"Clearly!"

"I just started thinking about some of the things you said. My father never said those things to me. Why? Why didn't I deserve his love? Why wasn't I good enough!?"

"I don't know. I can't answer for him, but I can tell you that he was wrong. That you are so much more than you give yourself credit for. You are so intelligent. You think outside the box. Your perspective is so interesting because you always have something different to add. I enjoy watching you put things together in your mind. You're quick witted and creative. You're the best agent I've ever worked with and you're the best son in the world because I said so. But you're still grounded."

"What? I'm not a child."

"You're mine now and if you ever drink and drive like that again, I will ground you for the rest of your life. Understood?"

"Yes."

"Good."

Later that night, as they piled on the sofa to watch a movie, Tony tried to get out of his punishment. He knew Gibbs wasn't really that angry, but he was scared. He was afraid of losing Tony because he cared.

"You're not getting out of this. I won't let you destroy yourself."

"I know. And I'm glad I have you."

With that Tony snuggled into the pillow on Gibbs lap, pulling the old family quilt up to his chin as he did so. Smiling to himself, Tony drifted off knowing he was safe, loved, and wanted.

**The End.**

_**Thanks for reading. I know it wasn't my best work, I've been entirely too busy lately, but it was something. My next one will hopefully deal with Tony testing Gibbs' patience in some way. I am open to ideas. Feel free to express yours.**_


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